The death of Sharon Otieno has send chills down the spine of the slay queens.
It is alleged that Sharon Otieno was dating Migori County Governor Okoth Obado. Sharon was 7 months pregnant and was expecting a child, whom police are yet to establish the father. Sharon was abducted in Migori town and murdered, her body as found in Kodera forest in neighboring Homa Bay county.
Kenya has had a fair share of unresolved murders of such young ladies mostly, university or college students. Remember, Carol Ngumbu, Mercy Keino e.t.c
According to the Urban Dictionary, Slay queens are defined as, ‘Young and naive girls who apparently do not date broke men. They spend hours on Snapchat and Instagram showing off things they don’t even own”.
Sponsor culture, as defined is the aspect of slay queen looking for rich or financially able married, most often older men to help finance their lifestyle. The same can be said about young boys looking for old or financially able ladies to fund their lifestyles. But that’s not the point. I want to address the issue of sponsor culture, first wives, second wives and slay queens. If you are a feminist, please stop reading this. Just share.
Of course, you know who second wives are.
My problem with second wives and also slay queens who happen to get the attention of married men is this.
When the man was marrying the first wife, they chose to stay together in peace and harmony, at least most of the time. Please, make all your effort to be at peace with the first wife.
As a first wife, when you are left for a second woman, you need to stick to the routine that you were used to. If you were receiving for example Kes. 100,000 a month and get to find out that your co-wife is being given Kes. 1 million per month. You need not compete since the competition that is usually brought out by this, is the cause of most polygamous marriage problems.
I understand that money is not enough, but can it ever be? So, what I mean is that, when you were receiving Kes. 100,000 as a first wife and was content with it, that is, it was satisfying all the bills e.t.c. Why now compete with another just for the sake of greed, feelings of self-hate and revenge?
See, most first wives do compete with the second and most often, end up losing. You lose a lot, not only your peace, but also your dignity. What is the problem if he still sends you the money that you had agreed with him and you were used to?
The best thing maybe a first wife can ask is for an increment but that does not necessarily mean exorbitant increment. Stop creating problems and live within ones means. This can also be said of the decent schools and clothes your children have been wearing all along.
The problem is not a woman’s but in power struggles, it is better to be at peace and only go to war when you can win and please “Crush your enemy totally”. Using the above example, supposed the man agrees with you as a first wife, to increase your spending to Kes. 1 million too, send your kids to the same expensive schools as the second wife or the slay queen. When he dies, how is it you gonna fund that lifestyle?
See, second wives are loved more, you we left for a reason and second wives and slay queens have a knack for finding another man and moving on. Where do you move on to?
It is in the nature of humans to dream, and furthermore, dreams are supposed to be beautiful. What beauty is there is malice, greed, vexations and machinations?
As a second wife, respect the first wife. Stay on your hoering lane bitch!.
As a slay queen, be content and probably wear a condom, if he insists on not wearing one, then the consequences are pregnancies. Some of you abort, so the consequence of abortions is death, first to the child and secondly to you, when it goes wrong.
Have a philosophical day.
Follow the writer on twitter @lagaless